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Absotively Posilutely Seuss

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Yerks in the Works
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How To Trap A Zoid
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How The Grinch SAVED Christmas
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My Gazortenflat-Gazinta
A Poem To Read
The Boohlian Zoo
Future Titles
How The Grinch SAVED Christmas


You're a nice one Mr. Grinch

37_grinch_twisted.jpg

PART 1

Nestled so snugly in the valley below
Beneath a soft blanket of fresh fallen snow
Whoville lay sleeping content as you please
For everyone knew this was Christmas Eve.

The whole town was decked out from rooftop to yard
Like a scene you would find on an old Christmas card.
The town’s Christmas tree stood in Whoville’s Town Square
It glistened in the moonlight like soft angel hair.

Yule logs burned safely in each fireplace,
Not one strand of tinsel was hung out of place.
Stockings were hung by the chimneys with care.
Candy canes dangled from every doorknob and chair.

All the Who children lay asleep in their beds
As the grown-ups wrapped presents in ribbons and threads.
When all things Christmas were arranged nice and neat
Just before midnight, Whoville dozed off to sleep.

Part 2

High in the mountains from his lofty perch
Someone stood watching and making a search
Keeping an eye out for strange goings on
And things that weren't right or did not belong.

Now, who would view Whoville by foot and by inch?
Why, it was none other than our old friend the Grinch!
He watched over Whoville, faithful Max by his side,
He felt this was his duty and he did it with pride.

For these were the people who so long ago
Had taught him about Christmas and made his heart grow.
They showed him there’s goodness in every Grinch
So, he’s watched over Whoville every Christmas Eve since.

By the cover of night he would slip into town
And fix any broken or bent thing he found.
Every light, every stocking, every sprig of mistletoe
He adjusted them all until everything was just so.

Then he made his way back to his look-out on high
Keeping Whoville in sight with his watchful eye.
All through the night he and Max stayed awake
Standing on guard to make sure Whoville was safe.

Part 3

Resting his elbows on a snow covered rock
And cupping his chin in his hands as he watched,
The Grinch settled in to prepare for his task
Hoping this night would go by in a flash.

He saw much too soon with each moment that passes
Time was moving slow, as slow as molasses.
He twiddled his thumbs while Max darned his old socks
It seemed like an hour for each tick of the clock.

But Grinches are loyal to causes they’ve chosen.
He continued to watch as time became frozen.
Slower and slower became every tick,
With never a tock, just a T ick ! .. T ick! .. T ... ick!

Just as his eyelids slid dreamily down,
He thought that he noticed a disturbance in town.
Somewhere in the shadows between fourth street and fifth
Someone was lurking, something was amiss!

This was no person the Grinch ever knew
It must be a stranger, Max thought so too.
What foul creature could be on the loose?
Was it a mischievous Geisel or a sinister Seuss?

On closer observance by telescope sight
The Grinch’s suspicions proved to be right.
This was an intruder they could not ignore.
"Max, we must go to town if we want to learn more."

Part 4

So, down on his belly as low as a snake
The Grinch slid down the mountain as smoothly as paste.
He slithered past trees and over two railroad tracks,
Down the back road to town with Max riding on his back.


Into the shadows they wove through the town
Searching for signs someone else was around.
By first appearance things seemed normal and right
That’s when they spotted a most hideous sight.

In the middle of town in a big pile of rubble
A mysterious figure was stirring up trouble.
It ripped open presents in a furious frenzy
Then simply tossed them aside, it did not like any.

How could someone commit such vile corruption,
Was nothing safe from it’s path of destruction?
What a horrible smashing and trashing display.
It even snapped candy canes as it went on it’s way.

This was enough to test the Grinch’s composure
His temperature rose and his blood boiled over.
He counted to ten to let his blood pressure drop
But, enough was enough, this rampage must stop.

Part 5

As that scoundrel of scoundrels continued to prowl
The Grinch marched right up as Max fiercely growled.
With a tap on the shoulder to draw it’s attention
The Grinch made quite clear his noble intention.

"Your actions deplore me, now I must insist,
I beg of you, please, to cease and desist.
Whoville has done nothing to deserve such abuse.
I will not allow it, there is no excuse."

But he was not prepared for the surprise that he got
When that villain turned round the Grinch stood there in shock
Not in one million years would he ever deduce
That this fiend was a Grinch not a Geisel or Seuss.

But, this was a Grinch unlike any he had seen.
Weren’t all of us Grinches supposed to be green?
If this was a fact and it holds to be true,
This Grinch’s heart must be so cold, that it has turned blue.

It had long eyelashes that fluttered and blinked
Around it’s neck was a collar of bright shocking pink.
Yet, it seemed so familiar but what could it be?
Max whispered in his ear, this Grinch was a SHE!

But, to be such a callous destructive offender
This Grinch had no right, no matter what gender.
This tough situation left our poor Grinch perplexed
He stood there and wondered, what would she do next?

Part 6

With an arrogant "Hmph!" and as cool as can be
The Blue Grinch set off for the town’s Christmas tree.
From it’s very bottom right up to the top
It poked decorations with a poppity-pop-pop-POP!

Down every street and up the avenues
She broke every trinket that came into view.
This Grinch was relentless as you might well guess
Leaving the town in a terrible mess.

Max covered his eyes and plugged up his ears
Why would she do this? And why do it here?
The Grinch had no answer why she was not nice
There must be some way to melt a heart made of ice.

As she leaned in a doorway contemplating her plunder
Unaware of the mistletoe that she had stood under
Without even thinking and before she could speak
The Green Grinch snuck up and kissed her on the cheek.

This one simple act made her eyes fill with tears
As the Grinch softly whispered "Merry Christmas, my dear."
In that very instant of time I am told
Her heart made of ice turned to one of pure gold.

PART 7

But this is no end to our little story
She must make amends if she truly was sorry.
So, together they worked to make things look like new,
Everything she had done they tried to undo.

When they were finished the town sparkled and shone
As if nothing was broken or missing or gone.
So proudly they smiled with their faces aglow
Standing together beneath the mistletoe.

Then hand in hand they scaled the mountain side
And watched over Whoville the rest of the night.
When morning arrived with the rise of the sun
They hugged each other for jobs very well done.

It’s a little known fact around this time and date
That during the winter a Grinch will hibernate.
So, while Whoville had Christmas, the Grinches and Max
Retired to their cave to rest and relax.

PART 8

As the Grinch soundly slept in the deepest of slumber
A loud noise erupted that echoed like thunder.
The only thing such a disturbance could mean
Was that he overslept, it must now be spring.

Rubbing the weariness our of his eyes,
Stretching and yawning with mouth open wide,
And still feeling groggy as he walked to the door,
He tripped on a toy and fell flat on the floor.

He could not remember a toy such as this
It must be a present for Whoville they missed.
That would explain where this new toy belonged
It was only a guess and he had guessed wrong.

"It belongs to our children." declared Mrs. Grinch.
He thought he was dreaming and gave himself a pinch.
He could not recall one way or the other
Any Mrs. Grinch or being father and mother.

But what he saw next must prove it was true
He was surrounded by Grinches of every color and hue.
Boy Grinches, girl Grinches and short ones this tall
They filled up the cave from the doorway to wall.

Twenty-two tiny Grinches his count came to be.
Then he looked behind Max, better make that twenty-three.
Then he realized that this wasn’t so bad
As he proudly smiled because he was a DAD!

PART 9

All spring and summer they frolicked and played
High in the mountains in front of their cave.
Just laughing and running and jumping outside,
Their favorite game was Grinch mountain top tag.

Mr. And Mrs. Grinch kept an eye on them all
Right through the summer and into the fall.
They silently watched for an omen or sign,
When the first snowflake fell they announced "It is time."

Christmas was coming so need I say more,
This was the season that Grinches adored.
In order to teach them traditions and rules
All the young Grinches attended Grinch school.

They learned about Christmas in the nation of Who
And why Grinches were born and what they must do.
It is said they were chosen for their cool disposition
To keep the towns safe was their holiday mission.

With twenty-five towns in the nation of Who
And twenty-five Grinches of various hue
The math worked out nicely, as you might expect,
Each one was given a town to protect.

After they knew all the things they should know
Class was dismissed and they packed up to go
With lunches and luggage and deadlines to be
At their destinations before Christmas Eve.

PART 10

Overlooking each town from the view from their caves
The Grinches were ready when Christmas Eve came.
As darkness fell over the tiny Who nation
They slipped into the towns to check decorations.

They fixed burnt out tree lights and hung mistletoe
And rearranged tinsel that dangled too low.
Milk and cookies were set on a table in case
Someone special dropped in through their fireplace.

Under each tree all the presents were tagged
They made sure every stocking had goodies inside.
The children were tucked in and checked on the list,
Every forehead was given a tender Grinch kiss.

After inspection they checked things again
From the first strand of tinsel to the last candy cane.
If all met approval on their Christmas score cards,
They returned to their look-outs to stand and keep guard.

PART 11

As the Green Grinch watched Whoville with eyes open wide
It made him feel warm and all fuzzy inside.
The Spirit of Christmas left him with no doubt
That this was what Christmas was truly about.

But, before he and Max could say they were through
There was one little job that they had left to do.
It was suggested by one and decided by all
To signal each other with a secret Grinch call.

Leaning out over the edge of the cliff,
One tiny word rolled off the Grinch’s lip.
"Hoo" was the word that he uttered so clear,
And so soft and so low only Grinches could hear.

It echoed off mountains to the valley below
Bouncing off trees and over the snow.
As it sailed through the air and up to the sky
The Grinch keenly listened for the secret reply.

At first he heard nothing, not one single "Hoo"
So he cleaned out his ears and Max’s ears too.
After hearing a "Hoo" much to his satisfaction
They started to come in a furious fashion.

It was all he could do to try and keep count
All of those "Hoo"’s were beginning to mount.
He ran out of fingers, then ran out of toes
He had to count using Max’s ears, tail and nose.

Twenty-two Hoos, then twenty-three, twenty-four.
He waited and waited, there should be one more.
Twenty-four signals were all that arrived,
According to figures, there should be twenty-five.

Who’s "Hoo" he wondered had not yet come in?
Then he chuckled and smiled a sheepish big grin.
How silly he was for he should have known
The "Hoo" that was missing was his very own.

PART 12

Now that his duties were almost complete
The Grinch could relax and put up his feet.
Christmas was only a few hours away
And Whoville would sleep till the break of the day.

So he got settled in on a nice comfy rock,
Max snuggled up and together they watched.
A look of contentment came over their faces,
This would be the Who’s best Christmas in ages.

So this is how Grinches spend Christmas my friend
And why everyone's Christmas is perfect. The End.