Fleas, Bees, Birds and Trees

As I went walking
I saw a flea
I saw a flea sitting on a bee
But that is not all
That I could see.

As I went walking
I saw a flea on a bee
Sitting on a bird.
But that is not all
I saw or heard.

I saw a flea
On a bee
On a bird
Sitting in a tree.
But that is not all
That I could see.

I saw a flea
On a bee
On a bird
In a tree.
The tree was
In the woods
By a river bank.
I saw the tree fall in
But it never sank.
But that is not all
That I could see.

I saw a flea
On a bee
On a bird
In a tree
In the woods
By a river bank.
The tree fell in
But it never sank.
I saw that tree
Float out to sea.
But that is not all
That I could see.

I saw a flea
On a bee
On a bird
In a tree
In the woods
By a river bank.
The tree fell in
But it never sank.
Then that tree
Floated out to sea.
I watched that tree
Sail out of sight
In the glow
Of the pale moonlight.
But that is not all
That I could see.

As I watched
In the pale moonlight
The tree sailed back
Into my sight.
I saw that tree
Float back to me.
But that is not all
That I could see.

I saw that tree
Float back to me.
It sailed up river
But it never sank.
I saw it get stuck
In the river bank.
But that is not all
That I could see.

I saw that tree
Float back to me.
It sailed up river
But it never sank.
Then it got stuck
In the river bank.
I saw the flea jump from the bee
I saw the bee jump from the bird
I saw the bird jump from the tree
But that is not all
That I could see.

I saw the flea
And the bee
And the bird
Flying off
Into the trees.

The only one left
That I could see
Was me.
So I sat on the tree
And floated out to sea.

I sailed out of sight
In the pale moonlight,
Now all I can see
Is the water in
The deep blue sea.

If I Had Ears

If I had ears like an elephant
I could hear things that others can't.
(insert picture of a small boy with elephant ears)

If I had antlers like a moose
I could wear any hat I choose.
(insert picture of a small boy with moose antlers, many hats hanging on antlers)

If I had eyes like owls do
I could see in light and darkness too.
(insert picture of a small boy with owl eyes)

If I had a nose like an anteater
I could pick things up like a vacuum cleaner.
(insert picture of a small boy with anteater nose)

If I had teeth like a crocodile
I could charm you with my smile.
(insert picture of a small boy with crocodile teeth)

If I had a neck like a giraffe
I could see over trees, imagine that!
(insert picture of a small boy with a giraffes neck)

If I had wings like a butterfly
I could soar up into the sky.
(insert picture of a small boy with butterfly wings)

If I had arms like an orangutan
I could reach most anything.
(insert picture of a small boy with orangutan arms)

If I had claws like a grizzly bear
I could use my hands to comb my hair.
(insert picture of a small boy with bear claws)

If I had a pouch like a kangaroo
I could carry my books back and forth to school.
(insert picture of a small boy with a kangaroo pouch)

If I had a tail like a chimpanzee
I could swing from tree to tree.
(insert picture of a small boy with a monkeys tail)

If I had legs like an osterich
I could leap a fence or leap a ditch.
(insert picture of a small boy with osterich legs)

If I had webbed feet like a goose
I could swim the sea and oceans too.
(insert picture of a small boy with webbed feet)

If I had all these things I wish
I'd end up looking just like
THIS!!!
(insert picture of a small boy with all the above things)

I Beaned Santa With A Snowball

(really a song, I have the music somewhere)

Yesterday our mother took us shopping
The streets were all aglow with Christmas lights
Everyone was signing Christmas Carols
Like Tannenbaum, Noel and Holy Night.

I was on my very best behavior
Like every other day so far this year.
I was aiming for the perfect record
With Christmas time oh so very near.

I'd been a good boy,
I hugged my sister,
When Grandma came to town
I even kissed her.

I tried hard as I could
To be so very good
So I won't end up with a lump of coal.

Everything was going very smoothly
It felt so good to see my goal in sight.
I believed that I could last till Christmas
Until my brother picked a snowball fight.

We went running in-between the shoppers
Where the Santa on the corner could not see.
Everyone tried dodging all our snowballs
But they were targets just like you and me.

And then it happened
Complete disaster
My brother ducked when he
Should have been plastered

I watched in shocked despair
As that missle split the air
Heading for that jolly man in red.

And
I beaned Santa with a snowball
Right in the middle of his nose..Ho..Ho..Ho..Ho!
I hope he didn't see
That snowball came from me
With Christmas time oh so very close.

I quickly hid behind my mother's coattails
Embarassed by the foolish thing I'd done.
I hoped my snowball did not hurt dear Santa
And more importantly
He never knew where it came from.

As we went home I made myself a promise
Never again to play so carelessly
I was hoping I would be forgiven
After all this was Christmas eve.

But I was worried
I had it coming
Whatever Santa brought me
Christmas morning.

My brother laughed at me
As I tried to fall asleep
Knowing I would get a lump of coal.

Because,
I beaned Santa with a snowball
Right in the middle of his nose..Ho..Ho..Ho..Ho!
I hope he doesn't see
That snowball came from me
With Christmas time oh so very close.

Oh,
I beaned Santa with a snowball
Right in the middle of his nose..Ho..Ho..Ho..Ho!
I hope he doesn't see
That snowball came from me
With Christmas time oh so very close.